June 20 2013, 08:24 PM

Aaron Tveit Shakes Up the Rap Game; or, How I Convinced Several Hundred People That Aaron Tveit Had a Verse on Kanye West’s album

this is a fucking unbelievable chronicle of internet life okay like even if you have no idea who aaron tveit is you owe it to yourself to read this

also absolutely no offense to anyone mentioned or screenshotted in this i’m not laughing at you i’m laughing with you

June 14:

kanye west’s studio album yeezus leaks. music blogger rafael g. tweets the following:

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rafael g. is making a funny joke; there is literally no way in hell that kitty pryde, a teenage girl who makes feminist pop rap on her macbook, would feature on a kanye west album.

hundreds of people fall for it.

June 16:

some friends and i are having a discussion about how the aaron tveit fandom is extremely gullible and would fall for anything. my friend spencer makes the following joke, in reference to the kitty pryde fiasco of two days prior:

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i, of course, play along.

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people immediately fall for it.

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about forty minutes after spencer made the original joke, and after seeing all of the above posts and questions, i decide that it’s time to fiddle around in audacity for five minutes and produce a shitty sound edit in which aaron tveit’s voice is distorted around kanye west’s vulgar rapping. we can all have a good laugh over this shitty edit, i think, and call it a day. it will be immediately obvious to anyone who hears this track that it is not a real kanye west song and that aaron tveit, in fact, has no affiliation with kanye west, i think.

i thought wrong.

June 17:

i post an edited version of “i’m in it” on my tumblr page. you can listen to the track here. as of right now, as you can see from the screenshot below, the track has been played 3,778 times. it has 569 notes.

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in case you are unable to play the track, let me summarize it for you:

the track begins with the chorus of aaron tveit’s solo from next to normal, “i’m alive.” i used audacity to up the pitch of this clip 50%. aaron tveit sounds like alvin and the chipmunks. i used another audacity tool to fuck with the sound so that the clip gets louder and then more quiet for a sort of distorted “wobbly” effect. the chorus ends. kanye west says “that’s right, i’m in it.” abruptly, the first two lines of the “i’m alive” chorus interrupt him. this happens a couple of times. then kanye west launches into a raunchy verse which includes the line “stick my fist in her like a civil rights sign.” (h/t to catsby, my partner in bullshit) at the end of the clip, as bon iver is making unholy ghost noises over the last chords of kanye’s instrumentals, i abruptly interrupt the song again to play the wobbly chipmunk chorus of “i’m alive.”

there is no way. in hell. that anyone could reasonably consider this to be a real track. from yeezus. from anywhere. no way. no f u c k i n g way.

…or not.

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but, honestly, for a fandom that genuinely thinks that enjolras is a hyper-heterosexual pussyslayer who just wants to fuck eponine all day long, aaron tveit featuring on a kanye west track isn’t that much of a stretch, i guess. case in point:

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performance art.

anyway, i go to bed at around 2 AM and wake up at around 8.

it’s still going.

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and at this point, i should note, the song has left the confines of the aaron tveit fandom. dozens of people with no aaron on their blogs are reblogging my shitty audio edit right next to legitimate audio posts of other kanye songs and tagging my track “#playlist” “#music” “#audio” “#kanye west” “#love this album.” either they’re not listening to the track, or they think it’s a real song and they genuinely can’t distinguish my five minutes in audacity from kanye’s six months in a recording studio.

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at around 11 AM, i e-mail pitchfork and broadwayworld with the news that an exciting new kanye west/aaron tveit track has leaked. i do not hear back.

alex renders this gorgeous pitchfork review of the track for us:

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and at this point, we start to get a bit of blowback. this guy does some research because he thinks that we might be full of shit with this whole “aaron tveit featured on kanye west’s album” thing.

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this guy actually went to pitchfork and looked for the review using multiple search options and looked for it on youtube and presumably looked for confirmation on other sites.

and yet, it was still getting notes. people were still reblogging it. this person complimented my production, said it made them “weak in the knees. breezy on beat.”

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basically what i’m getting from this is that i should be a professional rap producer.

kanye, call me.

  1. commits reblogged this from lalondes
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    i love almost everything about beth lalondes’ blog but this is the best thing that is on there, hands down
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    omg guys it was a joke that got out of hand calm down
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